Living Through Grief: My Journey After Losing My Mom

On June 7th, my world shifted. I lost my mom, and no matter how many times I say it or think about it, it still feels unreal. There are moments when I instinctively reach for my phone, wanting to text her or call her, and then I’m hit with the harsh reality that she won’t pick up. Her number is still saved in my phone, and sometimes I just sit and look at it, wishing that if I dialed it, she’d answer.

Some nights, it seems like I just can’t sleep and I’ll find myself awake, not because I’m doing anything important, but simply because my heart is heavy. Grief has a way of creeping in when the world is quiet. Those nights remind me how deep this pain goes, and how much my life has changed without her here.

I’m still working and learning to take things one day at a time. Each day looks different, and each day brings its own challenges, but I try to make the best of the time I’ve been given. Some days I feel strong, other days I feel broken. But every day, I remind myself that grief is not something you "get over" it’s something you learn to live with.

One thing I’ve realized is that grief looks different for everyone. No two journeys are the same, and that’s okay. Some cry often, some hold it all in. Some talk about it, while others stay silent. But no matter how it shows up, what matters most is that we find ways to manage it, so it doesn’t consume or control us.

For me, my faith has been my anchor. Trusting in God is what keeps me from falling apart completely. There are moments when I want to give up, when the weight feels too heavy, but I go back to God’s word.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3)

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)
When I feel weak, I remind myself of what David said. 

“I will lift up my eyes to the hills from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.” (Psalms 121:1-‬2)

“I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth.” (Psalms 34:1 NKJV)

“The Lord is my light and my salvation; Whom shall, I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”( Psalms 27:1

These scriptures remind me that even in my lowest moments, God is near. He sees the tears that never fall, he feels the ache that no one else can understand and he gives me the strength to keep going.

I want to encourage my family, my friends, and even strangers who may be going through a similar loss: don’t give up, keep pushing, keep believing and keep fighting. Each day is different and with each new day comes a chance to make the best of it. Some days will feel unbearable, but even on those days, there’s still a reason to keep moving forward.

Grief doesn’t disappear, but neither does love. The love my mom gave me will always remain, and I carry it with me every day. That love, along with my faith, is what fuels me to keep going.

So, if you’re reading this and you’re hurting too, know that you’re not alone. Take it one day at a time. Trust God with the pieces of your heart that feel shattered and remember, tomorrow brings a new opportunity to find peace, joy, and hope again.